@IamEveryDayPpl: I haven't worn corduroy since that time I almost died in a fire chasing the ice cream man...
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@david8hughes: [teaching son to brush his teeth] Me: this is the part of your skeleton that everyone sees
@squirrel74wkgn: It’s like grandpa always used to say, “even though granny washed them, I could always tell which underwear I wore on Taco Tuesday.”
@ericsshadow: It's funny how Gina who cheated on me in 9th grade because I was "too much of a prude" is now a Catholic school teacher.
@JenAshleyWright: Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that's your ghost outfit forever.