@IamEveryDayPpl: I haven't worn corduroy since that time I almost died in a fire chasing the ice cream man...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PaperWash: me: God? God: yes my child me: I need help- God: ask and thou shall receive me: -moving into my new apt God: me: God: me: hello?
@semenphantom: *opens door to show you my enormous stash of apples* "The doctors will attack soon, and I will be the only one prepared."
@bobvulfov: GOLFER: what r u thinkin ME (caddying): honestly sometimes i wake up & am mad that im not dead GOLFER: jesus. i meant what club should i use
@Big_Cat74: “Hey man, do you know how long that’s been sitting out?” - People who clearly don’t understand my commitment to eating