@dog_feelings: i hear. a borking. in the distance. this means. i too. must bork. so that everyone knows. i heard. the initial borking. it’s common courtesy
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@robdelaney: I'm so sweaty at all times I think it would be biologically accurate to call me amphibious.
@TheTweetOfGod: "Scientology" is a combination of "scient-," meaning "science," and "-ology," meaning "science." And it just gets stupider from there.
@Up2Long: Beautiful women following me on Twitter is screwing up my perception of who will talk to me in RL. A trip to Walmart should fix that.
@jonnysun: *touches a turtel* *dies* *touches a plant* *dies* wow mario are u allergic to evreything or wat