@NurseSeymour: I hear my ex is now into cross dressing & looking for same. At least that's what the Craigslist ad I just posted on his behalf says.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Twitter yesterday: We are outraged about the lion! Twitter today: We are outraged about the outrage about the lion!
@BonaFideIntent: Have you ever met a person, & knew straight away that they were 'the one'? Yah. I had to take a restraining order out too.
@squirrel74wkgn: Can you at least smile if you're gonna be in the background of my selfie, Doc? (takes off rubber glove) "You can pull up your pants now."