@Smiilze: I hear you knocking at my door. You thinking I'm going to answer it is your second mistake.
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@mattsurely: My favorite sex position? Boy there's so many to choose from. Ha Ha. *starts sweating* I'd have to pick, um, reverse...shortstop? I gotta go
@Reverend_Scott: [texting] Her: We need to talk. (9:00 am) Him: About? (9:01 am) Him: What? (9:02 am) Him: WHAT??? (9:03 am) Her: Dinner tonight. (4:42 pm)
@bobvulfov: [gf falls asleep during a movie] ME: aw [i get a blanket] ME: *hitting her w/ the blanket* wake up ur missing the part with gollum's riddles
@TheMichaelRock: It's difficult to be romantic when your dog always eats the trail of McNuggets leading to the bedroom.