@Smiilze: I hear you knocking at my door. You thinking I'm going to answer it is your second mistake.
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@TheCatWhisprer: *intermittently glances at phone while placing order for 6 burritos so the Chipotle lady thinks they're for multiple people*
@1Happytwit: You don't need to use your words if you're carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
@ThaJawn: Phill: *gets stung by a stingray Me: *pees on his wound Phill: That only works on jellyfish stings Me: Oh shit, I thought you were dead!