@abbycohenwl: I heard fish is good for your brain but now I can't get the smell out of my hair
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@noog: God: What's that? Noah: The aquarium God: For what? Noah: The fish God: Fish can survive floods Noah: *kicks llama* YOU SAID EVERY ANIMAL
@HollyMemphis: Friend: "I just blew a speaker in my car." Me: "Which kind?" Friend: "Motivational."
@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Don't reply to texts right away or you might look desperate. Just wait. Give it 5, 10, maybe even 15 years. Keep things casual.
@Carbosly: Me blacking out when I'm drunk is God's way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.