@ItsLaTourette: I heard girls like guys that are mysterious so I just put a fog machine under my bed
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KalvinMacleod: HER: my dad hates puns but loves food ME: got it HER: dad, this my date ME: hey papaya yam glad to meat u HIM: *shakes then crushes my hand*
@david8hughes: So my dog's pregnant & she's never been in contact with another dog & I'm having a lot of accusations thrown my way.
@Jandalize: Stop calling it "sweater weather" and call it what it really is, "I don't have to shave my legs for 6 months weather."
@markleggett: People who say that they don't have time for my bullshit need to learn how to manage their time better. Wake up an hour earlier.