@AndyKindler: "I heard you were responsible for like 30 million deaths. That's crazy." Jimmy Fallon interviewing Stalin
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LinajkReturns: So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position. Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way.
@P1ssed_K1d: I took my family out to an authentic Vietnamese place. My wife and I had pho. The kids sewed Nikes for 14 hours and were beaten. Great pho.
@TheToddWilliams: [back from the ultrasound] MOTHER-IN-LAW: So did you see the fetus? ME: Fetus, handus, legus...there was practically a whole baby in there!