@NikkiGlaser: I held a baby today. I was scared it would make me want a baby, but it just made me want to be a baby.
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@nicfit75: Fact: Children can hear at a higher frequency than adults. How no one has developed an effective child-repellant yet is beyond me.
@OfficialMizGin: My parties got a hundred times better when I realized if I didn’t invite anybody I could eat all the snacks.