@NikkiGlaser: I held a baby today. I was scared it would make me want a baby, but it just made me want to be a baby.
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@_mcgoof: Pizza places should give away free pizza car air-freshners. Within 5seconds of sitting in your car, you WILL crave pizza.
@KellyMeldrum: I'm not usually vengeful, but when I am it's because someone gave my kid a whistle.
@KenJennings: I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.