@WittySassBasket: I held up a fist for a CW to bump and she kissed my ring. I am now drunk on power and no one is allowed to make eye contact.
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@Scigglez: I'll never understand the appeal of TV shows about food. To me that's like listening to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show on the radio.
@djdarrellripley: Me: My friend is having a birthday party for his dog. Her: How old is he? Me: (Sigh) Too old to be having a birthday party for his dog....
@Retacof: Officer: You were speeding. Me: I am trying to keep up with traffic. O: There Is no traffic. M: I am really far behind.