@EliTerry: I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named FIREWORKS AND VACUUMS so my dog won't find them.
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@Audenary: DUMBLEDORE: Who's brought evil into Hogwarts? HARRY: I think it's Malfoy, professor! DARK MYSTERIOUS NEW TEACHER: Oh come on
@Mr_Bum_to_You: I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.
@HatfieldAnne: Accidentally got melted butter on some fried chicken and this is my delicious origin story.
@cwhudson: [couple who talks via walkie talkie] GIRL: [into walkie] this relationship is over, over GUY: *cries into walkie* it's roger isn't it?? over