@bobvulfov: FACEBOOK: yo remember ur ex from 2 years ago? look at this photo of u together ME: facebook no FACEBOOK: k heres ur dog who died 5 years ago

@sara_ashlynn: My daughter said, "You're the best mommy ever!" I'm really proud that she's learning sarcasm at such a young age.

@Jazzzzzmina: How strict is the "I licked it, it's mine" policy? There's some things I've licked that I don't want.

@FunnyIsFamily: My kids are having fun in that "Someone's going to the ER" kind of way.

@Femi_17: Can I call you? Crush: Yes Errm, I called but you didn't pick Crush: I said you could call, I never said I'd pick up