@RickAaron: I hired a pizza chef as my new golf coach. One way or another the dude is gonna fix my slice.
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@Cheeseboy22: My driver's license says I'm an organ donor but jokes on them because I have a piano.
@ClichedOut: [about to post] Social Media Police: Is it reliable Me: Yes SMP: Source? M: I heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend SMP: Proceed
@desi_princess: Are we stopping for ALL pedestrians now? I can understand kids & the elderly. But everyone else should be able to dodge cars.
@JohnLyonTweets: Nephew: Do you like Minecraft? Me: [trying to seem cool] I am interested in how mines are built, yes.