@NikiWithIssues: I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
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@rolldiggity: When your date asks about your hobbies, DON'T grab her table knife in a napkin and say, "Collecting knives with strangers' prints on them."
@buhsbaby_baby: "MAYBE IT'S THE TRANSMISSION!“ I scream helpfully when I drive past anyone who's car is broken down on the side of the road...