@NikiWithIssues: I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
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@TheBoydP: I’m not saying it’s hard for me to lose weight, I’m just saying if you interrupt me when I’m eating I’m starting over.
@OreoSpeedwagon_: I'm like a Ferrero Rocher in that I'm quite nutty and go down nicely with wine. I also come in family size.
@jamiesont: Millennials are so spoilt with their smartphones & tablets. All we had at their age was the ability to buy property in Central London.