@jrza84: I honestly have allergies and dry skin this time of year, but it never looks good for a dude to have tissues & lotion on his desk.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@joe_binkley: Dad: My head hurts, it feels like wrongdad. Son: What's wrongdad? Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.
@see_more13: When I explained Twitter to my mother she said, "Sounds like group therapy where no one's getting better." Well played, Mom. Well played.
@rockymomax: [moon landing] ME: the beagle has landed HOUSTON: you mean eagle? ME: (holding the puppy I snuck onboard) nope
@MarfSalvador: [zoo] cop: what happened here? boss: they attacked when he tried to inflate one of them me inside enclosure: [with final breath] babloon