@jrza84: I honestly have allergies and dry skin this time of year, but it never looks good for a dude to have tissues & lotion on his desk.
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@Sir_Strange: I almost died today, so naturally my first impulse was to pull my phone out and tweet about it.
@Kyle_Raney: My mind says "no" but my heart says "yes", all my vital organs speak English, it's very confusing and loud
@junejuly12: I have way too much responsibility for someone who still isn’t sure if 12pm is noon or midnight.
@PaperWash: What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone's life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?