@markhoppus: I hooked my fidget spinner up to my vape pen and The Millennials crowned me King of Avocado Toast
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@Home_Halfway: The Olympics are my favorite 3 week event where I get to harshly judge people way better than me.
@Parkerlawyer: Listening to my husband's gorilla snoring and contemplating if I could record it and sell to the FBI as an alternative to waterboarding.
@illiter8too: sure I’d love to attend your baby shower, I mean babies are so rare, there’s only like, what, a half-billion of them at any given time or something