@Tmoney68: I hop in a tanning bed during storms in the hopes of being struck by lightning & turned into a lame, but beautifully bronzed, superhero.
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@KimmyMonte: [Jesus' dating profile] I love wine that's made from water, taking long walks on the ocean and going to supper w my friends.
@Wakenbake77: Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there's a cop hiding in the bushes
@sageboggs: My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :(