@minnie_in_pink7: I hope George Clooney dumps his wife so he and Brad Pitt can finally be happy together.
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@hiitsmolly: "I could probz bench press, like, five of you"-me talking to a cool squirrel I just met
@BlindChow: "I want to put a baby in you," I whisper to the microwave over the sound of the infant crying next door.
@therealeatwood: GURU: You have achieved the state of sakṛdāgāmin: you will reach nirvāṇa within seven lifetimes ME: [slipping him a $20] How about six