@davidschneider: I hope God rethinks his decision to allow an intern to run celebrity deaths in 2016.
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@SortaBad: "If you approach a bear in the woods, lie down and play dead" - brilliant rumor started by lazy bears
@TribalSpaceCat: Me: Do you have any wrongdog? "Ugh fine what's wrongdog" Me: thank you so much for asking I'm doing terrible
@PaperWash: Find everything OK, sir? Everything except happiness! You won't find that at Wal-Mart! We laughed & laughed until my credit card declined
@_Shizzle: They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".