@Sarcasticsapien: I hope I die alone. I mean, you'd have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
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@amydillon: Roasted broccoli for dinner tonight, and the rave reviews are in. "What is this? It tastes like hair," said one ungrateful child.
@bencoffeehall: Each year an average of 10 people are killed by sharks while 100 people die being stepped on by cows. Where's Cow Week, Discovery Channel?!
@jdforshort: A random guy held the door & paid for my Cinnabon roll at the truck stop today He doesn't know it, but this is the best date in a long time