@Sarcasticsapien: I hope I die alone. I mean, you'd have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
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@bombfunk75: - Deletes FB account - Leaves Social Media - Moves to Himalayas - Pigeon comes with a note - Opens note - Candycrush request
@briangaar: "Congratulations, the baby's got green overalls!" Peach sobs. Mario flies into a rage.
@GrowlyGrego: A new hipster coffee shop in my hood doesn't have wifi b/c it wants to encourage talking...presumably about the failure of this coffee shop.
@GloriaFallon123: I hope Kim and Kanye surprise everyone and name this next kid something like Bill or Jen