@SergioValenCo: I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don't like her new haircut.
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@GinAndJif: Don'tcha wish your g/f was fun like me? *plays Twister* Don'tcha wish your g/f was a freak like me? *regurgitates a jellyfish* Don'tcha...?
@shanselman: 11 year old: "I was thinking. What if Alexa gets mad and starts ordering parts from Amazon to build herself a body?" Me: O_O
@kelkulus: People who complain that my Christmas gifts are "stupid" and "thoughtless" clearly have no idea how hard it is to wrap a pineapple.
@Try2StopME: Guys, if you forget your girl's birthday, just look into her eyes and say, "I love you." Then run, because that is not going to help.