@Hil439: I hope I never go to jail because I haven't memorized a phone number since 2006.
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@SteussieErica: FACT: Had kids for one reason; to send them to the basement for paper towels when I run out of them in the kitchen. It's scary down there.
@Playing_Dad: [At Last Supper] *Jesus raises bread* This is my body *raises wine* & my blood *pulls out 8 of Clubs* & this is your card *Apostles go nuts*
@WheelTod: I used to complain about crying babies on airplanes but last week I was flying, both pilots died & a crying baby landed us on a soccer field