@candace_9871: I hope I never have to produce an alibi...cause eating salsa in bed with my cat every night would never hold up in court.
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@anylaurie16: Yesterday Bill Clinton called Hillary, “the ablest person I’ve ever worked with.” Well, I can see why he’s a hit with the ladies.
@Rollinintheseat: When I go to a restaurant, I stare at the menu for 10 minutes, and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times I've been there.
@ibid78: "You thinkin what I'm thinkin?" "That we should dance our way out of this street fight?" "Wait what?" "No time! Break on 8! And a 5 6 7 8."
@pinupteacher: Teachers at school: She seems to be expressing an inner need for control. Teachers at a bar: I want to punch that kid in the face.