@RobDenBleyker: I hope I never meet the girl of my dreams because she's a thirty foot half witch half crocodile who chases me endlessly through darkness.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles.
@trentistweeting: [interview] My biggest weakness is that I'm too literal "That's fine. Your resume looks good, welcome aboard!" *turns to whiteboard* welcome
@sofarrsogud: 🎶 It's raining yen. Hallelujah, it's raining yen - Winners of the Japanese lottery, probably
@joshgondelman: Someone wished me a Happy Independence Day and I told him this is America, and we say Merry Christmas here, buddy.