@juliussharpe: I hope I'm never involved in a long trial, mostly because I only own one suit.
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@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, why is the moon following us around? Me: I probably owe it money like everyone else on the planet
@turtledumplin: Why would anyone come on Twitter JUST to argue? Don't you have an ex, or a spouse, or a family member that you can argue with?
@moose_chocolate: Music star Kenny Rogers announced his retirement yesterday. In other news, Kenny Rogers is still alive, apparently.