@Prof_Hinkley: I hope my liberal use of made-up words doesn't make you...discomfortable
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@Donnie_Fairburn: [Phone with Mom] "Did you just friend request me?" I'm on fb now "I'm not adding you" Fine do your own laundry then *accepts friend request*
@better_off_dad: 'It's nice & thick...you'll have to suck pretty hard.' - Why I lost my job at the ice cream parlor.
@House_Feminist: My friend told me he doesn't believe in having children so now I'm wondering if other people can see mine or if it's just me
@KevinFarzad: MATH Q: 5 friends wanna split a $50 dinner. But Josh wants a separate check bc his thing was $2 less. Really, Josh? This is y nobody likes u