@Prof_Hinkley: I hope my liberal use of made-up words doesn't make you...discomfortable
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@Dawn_M_: Trees put cats in their hair so they can flirt with firefighters when they climb up them.
@MiddleageM: My husband fell asleep while watching Memento...was shocked to find "remember to NOT trust your wife" written on his forehead with a Sharpie
@DanMentos: I just had the biggest bowel movement of my life then turned around and the toilet was empty. Needless to say I completely lost my shit
@AndyAsAdjective: I bet every time Vanilla sets his razor down on the bathroom sink, he looks up in the mirror, rubs his newly smooth face & says "Shaved Ice"