@TFriss: I hope my tombstone reads: Matrixed 9 out of 10 bullets.
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@theshamingofjay: If you jump through the hole in a hipster's earlobe you get transported to a SIMS game where the only people are Harry Potter characters
@Brampersandon_: *Guy is rushed in on a stretcher* DR: what happened EMT: we found him passed out & seizing during a shrek marathon DR: WE'VE GOT AN OGREDOSE
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "I have never seen this before: You have no bones!" Me: "Really? Could the x-ray be broken?" Doctor: "Ignore what I just said."