@TFriss: I hope my tombstone reads: Matrixed 9 out of 10 bullets.
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@Bownuggets: Hate it when we run out of clean towels so I have to ride my white stallion Gregory up and down the driveway real fast to dry my mullet
@goodersuk74: I got a new stick of deoderant. Instructions said: 'remove cap & push up bottom'. I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely
@PhilJamesson: Husband Bear: Honey! I'm home! Wife Bear: For God's sake, would you at LEAST say hello before demanding dinner?