@House_Feminist: I hope people think my toddler has a slight English accent bc we're so cultured and not bc she's basically been raised by Peppa Pig
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@GrowlyGrego: I have an extensive library of over 2,000 classic, important books just in case you have a question about the first 54 pages of one of them.
@007Pepe_Rex: When you're in the voting booth this fall, remember that Abe Lincoln didn't slay all those vampires so that Trump could become President.
@ArfMeasures: ME: Ok, that's everything in the dishwasher *closes dishwasher door* *turns it on* *turns around* TEASPOON: You're not gonna believe this