@House_Feminist: I hope people think my toddler has a slight English accent bc we're so cultured and not bc she's basically been raised by Peppa Pig
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@U_Want_Shum_M8: I dont know why people are disappointed when they find out a celebrity crush is married.As if that was their only obstacle to being together
@just1fool: I just watched one bird chase another bird from tree to tree for five minutes. It was probably over a stolen tweet.
@sportswithjohn: Commentator just said that the rain "may just be the tears of a heartbroken nation," which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of rain.