@Troman88: I hope that when the zombies finally do come, they're all dyslexic and they only go after Brians.
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@Underchilde: Dear Abby, I want to run over my neighbor with my SUV. How can I do that without raising my insurance rates?
@karanbirtinna: They say you are what you eat. I don't remember eating an embarrassment to my family.
@ArfMeasures: [1st date] DATE: When I'm with a handsome man I get all nervous & involuntarily start speaking French ME [leans across] Oh really? DATE: Yes