@nealbrennan: I hope the bomber suspect is made of green screen so we can all project our most feared skin color onto him.
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@Jenn_H_Scott: It's okay, everyone. I know my 3yo's screams sound like his leg was run over by a lawn mower, but he's just got some fuzz stuck to his thumb
@jackmackenroth: I stand right next to the "God Hates Fags" guy with a sign that says "Please Ignore My Ex-Boyfriend"
@TurboJellyBean: Her:"my blinkers don't work I think I'm out of blinker fluid" Me:"your car doesn't have blinker fluid." Her:"I JUST SAID THAT PAY ATTENTION"