@nealbrennan: I hope the bomber suspect is made of green screen so we can all project our most feared skin color onto him.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LoveNLunchmeat: You could murder someone in California and they wouldn't even arrest you as long as you properly composted the body.
@3sunzzz: [text] H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame? M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line.
@samiam604: *on my deathbed* *groggy, dazed, & delirious* Me: I wonder if my TC ever really loved me? Wife: Honey, what's a TC? Me: *pulls plug*
@GMPaiella: The part of the Bible I relate to the most is when Jesus makes a scene at the farmers market