@JT_IV_: I hope the people that monitor my sleep study tonight like watching a man scratch his taint.
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@copymama: Telling a mom to relax while her family does everything on Mother’s Day is like telling a pilot to relax while the passengers fly the plane.
@NicestHippo: [doctor gets job as 911 operator] "What's your emergency?" MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE "Hmm ok let's wait a few weeks and see how it is then"
@StaceyLynne_44: If anyone needs like five things 25% done and no things 100% done, just let me know.
@ThisOneSayz: Thanksgiving prep with mom is great for my self esteem: Why aren't you helping me?? *starts to help* You're doing it wrong! Let me do it!