@NinjaFuneral: I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I'm checking Twitter and not taking pictures.
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@GrumpyBahr: North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
@superdadatron: Hope you don't mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
@ShaunRightNow: Hooker says $500. I say $50. She walks away. Later, I'm walking with my wife, same hooker sees me and says, I see what you got for $50.