@NinjaFuneral: I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I'm checking Twitter and not taking pictures.
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@tchrquotes: If you're filling a glass up and stop halfway, it's half full. If you're emptying a glass and stop halfway, it's half empty. You're welcome
@notalogin: On your first day in jail, when they ask you what you're in there for, say "the food" so all the other prisoners know you're a loose cannon.
@CraigBanksArt: Dear #Athiests Evolution could never design and create a machine that consumes scraps and produces bacon
@VerifiedJayy: Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades. Wait til spring Enjoy