@madcaplaughs30: I hope this magician is good [curtain rises to reveal a man with no goatee] get your coats, children. that man is a fraud.
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@aveuaskew: Robber: If you ever want to see your family again do exactly as I say. Now hand me that bag! Me: *sets bag on fire*
@Tmoney68: BREAKING: California becomes first state to ban plastic bags. People who love picking up dog shit with their bare hands rejoice.
@mattgallo123: House arrest? You mean permission to excuse myself from social interaction? Oh no, judge. Please don't.