@NickSwardson: I hope this year they have the courage to legalize diarrhea.
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@Losephine: If you're reading this fortune cookie, I am being held at the Golden Dragon Dumpling Outlet against my will. Send help.
@shanethevein: Women have all the answers to all your questions.nnnAnd you don't even have to ask.
@QwertyJones3: Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends.
@audipenny: Do you think the rattlesnake is ever embarrassed that he has a stupid baby toy at the end of his string body