@NickSwardson: I hope this year they have the courage to legalize diarrhea.
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@zachreinert03: My friends holds her breath driving past cemeteries cause of superstition but I thought she just didn't want to be cocky about breathing
@ObscureGent: Joseph: I swear I just heard the wind call your name Mary: um, that was probably...god Joseph: God sounded a lot like our neighbor Jeff
@LizHackett: "Dammit. I had shit planned today." -- a spider being carried out of the house with a cup and piece of paper