@Elizasoul80: I hope to be a cat in my next life so that I can make someone's life more fulfilling without actually having to do anything for them.
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@SCbchbum: Friend: I want a baby. Me: Remember when your neighbor was practicing the clarinet at 1AM? It’s like that, but you can’t call the cops.
@SamGrittner: If my funeral is open casket my only request is that I have cucumber slices over my eyes.
@thenoahkinsey: As long as the stupid phrase "interracial relationship" exists, I'm going to refer to same race ones as a "color-coordinated relationship."