@chopper4jk: I hope when I get old, my motorized wheelchair is fast enough the catch the ice cream truck.
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@ElleOhHell: "The new iPhone 6 is bigger!" Meh. "It has more sensors!" Pfft. "You can block group texts." I WOULD LIKE ONE THOUSAND OF YOUR IPHONE
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm working on a screenplay called '127 Seconds' about my fat co-worker getting his hand stuck in a Pringles tube.
@LosLos__: My Wife's nickname for me is "Microsoft" because I'm good with computers. RIGHT HONEY? Hold on guys, she's not done laughing.