@markydoodoo: I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
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@TheFearBoners: Forget the Home Alone parents forgetting their kid. Why the hell do they own a bunch of mannequins?
@LeahsLounge: Anytime I get something stuck in my throat, I drink some beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver.
@LosLos__: Me: I love you, too...umm... [Wife says her name] Me: See? After all these years we're still finishing each other's sentences.