@Jackson5toLife: I hope you never have to experience the loss of a child. Lotta paperwork.
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@ChaseMit: "I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In" is my favorite Taylor Swift song about a racist shop owner.
@graceful_asfuck: [Burger Lounge] Server: Are you 27? Me: OMG NO I'M 39 THANK U SO MUCH U MADE MY DAY Server: I meant your order number, ma'am.
@david8hughes: Me: so I've been a little unclear regarding everything you've asked me to do since Monday Boss: Jesus Me: let me finish. In February. 2011.