@malt_skull: I howl at the moon for fun and absolutely shit myself as the moon howls back, inciting several other moons in the solar system to also howl at me
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheTweetOfGod: I am looking forward to 6pm Thanksgiving Day when Walmart opens its doors for its annual sale of trampled human corpses.
@ericsshadow: I dont have a "college fund" bc my youngest will most likely get a scholarship and my oldest thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls
@Discourt: For a tiny person unable to wipe herself after she poops, my toddler has managed to hit me dead in the eyeball with 4 things today.
@SortaBad: "Sooo sorry I fell asleep during your wedding. It was rude but your vows were like SO long. Anyway, you may now kiss the bride"