@MartaEffing: I hug my Uber driver at the airport so people will think I have a family that loves me.
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@_Ms_Moneypenny_: Friend: Can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure! *looks in purse* *pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat* Me: Sorry, no pen. :(
@NikiWithIssues: I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
@InternetHippo: “What attracted you to our company?” Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work