@LeBearGirdle: I hugged someone else's mom at a park once and now mine won't pick me up bc I smell like other mom now
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@CaniacMONK: *Works out on rowing machine *Breaks rowing machine *Doesn't know own strength *Buys Doritos to celebrate *Can't open bag
@VeganZebra: WIFE: no no no I loved your vows I just thought you could've used the word 'bloodthirsty' a little less
@ChickenFrecklez: Rude coworker said something very dumb & mean to me. She blamed it on pregnancy brain. I asked her if she was having triplets.