@bazecraze: I imagine the hardest part of becoming a supervillain is getting your doctorate.
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@Donna_McCoy: Replace someone's MRI with a dancing skeleton gif once, and you'll never be asked to deliver bad news again.
@warmyellowlight: i don't see why i have to clean the shower. imo it is the shower's job to clean me
@OuterJohn: Raise your arms and run through the police crime scene tape like you're finishing a marathon.
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: Project's way behind. Suggestions? I'm willing to try anything. Me: *raises hand* Him: Anything but "helper monkeys" Me: *lowers hand*