@bazecraze: I imagine the hardest part of becoming a supervillain is getting your doctorate.
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@TitansHomer: I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
@spittingllama_: When a girl tells u about her favorite animal - "I'd eat one" is not the right response.
@bridger_w: If you need a ride to the airport, give me at least two weeks notice so I'll have a chance to clear my schedule and die