@bazecraze: I imagine the hardest part of becoming a supervillain is getting your doctorate.
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@jonnysun: JESUS: hey check this oute [turns my water into wine] ME: woa!! thanks jesus JESUS: [grabs wine out of my hands] NO!! THIS IS MY BLOOD NOW
@yassinovic89: What if Aliens don't want to visit us because they're all women and they want us to make the first move.
@redthe1: My niece guessed the capital of Montana is Hannah, and I had to give it to her because as far as I know that's correct
@AverageCorners: 11: Did it rain last night? Me: No. 11: But it's so wet! Me: That's what she said. 11: What? Me: What?