@SortaBad: i imagine the people who slaved for years perfecting the google search algorithm would be so mad knowing i mainly use it now for spellcheck
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@AbrasiveGhost: [Me being beaten to death w/ can of frozen veggies] "Oh peas no!" [WHAP] "Why u bean like this?" [SMACK] "Don't u carrot all?" [CRACK]
@duumb: [high school reunion] me: u remember me skipping math class to see u ex: aww yeah me: [gets out pile of papers] now do my taxes
@jordan_stratton: Laser hair removal? Uhhh, why would anyone with laser hair ever want to get it removed?
@BangMyBongo: Some say Obama is the biggest liar of all time.. I say, the person who chose the spelling of, "Colonel" is the biggest liar of all time