@Robert_Beau: I installed a pet door over the weekend, and the dog barked at it, and the cat pissed on it, but the raccoons have got the idea.
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@Duke1173: As I get older and continue to meet new people... I realize that swallowing should be more of a thing.
@envydatropic: I get a new phone every year just so my friends don't think I'm lying when I tell them I've lost their number Avoidance is expensive
@JonnyStallone: Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.
@LoriGallucci: "Omg, what a cute baby. He's adorable. Makes me want...oh never mind he's crying now bye"