@Robert_Beau: I installed a pet door over the weekend, and the dog barked at it, and the cat pissed on it, but the raccoons have got the idea.
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@TheQuietPsycho: Apparently just because your dad had a bunch of DUI's, the cops won't accept "tradition" as an excuse as to why you're driving drunk.
@mjkspeaks: [at ER] ME: my stomach hurts. DOC: have you been able to eat anything today? ME: yeah, like 75 pieces of pizza.