@BatBatshitcrazy: I invented a breakfast calzone this morning, hashbrowns as the double crust with an omelette in the middle. So now I have to marry myself.
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@david8hughes: Me: what make of dog is that? Her: breed Me [hands on knees]: I am, I'm just out of breath cos I ran over to ask what make of dog that is
@JeffSarcastic: [dinner negotiations] Wife: where do you want to go to eat? Me: ugh Wife: Me: you pick Wife: I'm craving kale Me: I'll pick