@bencoffeehall: I joined a Cold War reenactment group. We just sit around and act nervous about the USSR.
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@amusedkerching: If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad "iPhone 5S for $1 only"
@SuperRandomish: [Morgan Freeman narrating my life] *extended period of silence* "What the hell am I supposed to do with this..."
@djdarrellripley: I have enough money to last me for the rest of my life... Unless, of course, I want to buy something.