@bencoffeehall: I joined a Cold War reenactment group. We just sit around and act nervous about the USSR.
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@joejwest: ME: Eat your lemon PIRATE: No ME: It stops scurvy PIRATE: [folds arms, shuts eye] ME: [carves tiny skull on lemon] PIRATE: [opens eye a bit]
@KyleMcDowell86: Im sorry I yelled "GARY LIKED STAR WARS EPISODE ONE" when the pastor asked if anyone knew of a reason why you and Gary shouldn't be married
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Sarah Palin's new Christmas book is her attempt at valuing the sanctity Christmas so she can sell books and make money just like baby Jesus.
@anhonestmess: A popcorn necklace is a nice way to tell someone you want them to be attacked by birds.