@ComedicBust: I joined snapchat yesterday; apparently my phone doesn't die fast enough for my liking.
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@KenJennings: PERSONALITY TEST: When you read an obit where someone passes away "surrounded by family," do you picture murder, or suicide?
@MandiAtRandom: Forgot to do laundry again. I bet everyone at work is going to love my prom dress.
@Smooheed: Got so drunk last night that I was able to translate three Pearl Jam albums into English
@SirEviscerate: *joins Buddhist monastery* *withstands 21 years of brutal kung-fu training* So, vending machine that didn't drop my funyuns. We meet again.