@ComedicBust: I joined snapchat yesterday; apparently my phone doesn't die fast enough for my liking.
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@junejuly12: With sufficient velocity, any object can be an effective weapon. Unfortunately this kitten is not cooperating.
@SirEviscerate: *re-dials* Hey girl, before I come over, did you say you were in a jacuzzi or the yakuza?
@mortimermaiden: Me: Wanna take this upstairs? Her: Mhm, but you should know it's my first time Me: Don't worry, upstairs is like the downstairs, just higher