@ComedicBust: I joined snapchat yesterday; apparently my phone doesn't die fast enough for my liking.
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@genehunter1: If you don't have a bucket list, then put "make bucket list" on your "To Do" list. nnYou don't have a To Do list?nnnnJesus, what ARE you?
@simoncholland: Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.
@ieatanddrink: Think I nailed my job interview today because I wore a graduation cap to make it look like I graduated high school
@novicefather: My toddler is learning to speak so I'm trying to teach him some phrases for social success. Things like "true dat" and "pass the gravy."