@mydmac: I joined Twitter to have something to do while I waited for the repairman. It's only been 3 years, he should be here any month now.
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@joeljeffrey: I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground.
@MissNaughty1801: I find it inconsiderate that policemen always ask if I had been drinking but they never bother to ask if I had anything to eat at all
@jctwritesstuff: I don't discriminate. Love whoever you want. Pansexual is cool with me. I mean, I like pans, I guess. They fry bacon and stuff.
@vikkaroni: OMG, GODZILLA IS COMING TO ATTACK NEW ENGLAND AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-oh, he said huge blizzard, not lizard... Carry on then.