@mydmac: I joined Twitter to have something to do while I waited for the repairman. It's only been 3 years, he should be here any month now.
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@weinerdog4life: Everyone is freaking out because I brought my own gavel to court, no one knows if I'm allowed to do this, the judge is crying
@AimeeHelene1: *spider falls on my desk* *pulls fire alarm* *stands in hallway & points firefighters toward my desk*
@meakoopa: JURASSIC PARK is a movie abt how just bc something is great doesn't mean u should bring it back and it has three sequels