@TonyFratto: I joke but this Scotland thing is nuts. I mean...imagine if Canada ever tried to secede from the U.S.
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@BlakWidowBarbee: My tweets don't get the attention they used to. I've seen more stars after getting my head slammed into the headboard.
@sgothreau: What the hell Hollywood? I've never had to rub blood between my fingers to know that it's blood.
@Samzen_: All girls love surprises. I didn't know putting a snake in her handbag was wrong. We can't understand women.