@MartaEffing: I joked at school drop off that the white stuff on my kid was powdered sugar, not cocaine, but I took it too far by rubbing some on my gums.
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@PaperWash: Things more likely to kill you than Ebola: - choking on a wheat thin - erotic asphyxiation - falling off the toilet - a duck with a gun
@kidphonic: I keep hearing about kids accidentally dying from trying to get an asphyxiation high. What happened to drugs, kids?! We still have drugs!
@EJGomez: trump: ban muslims jeb bush: i disagree. just like dad would. who used to be president ben carson: how did spongebob make fire underwater