@crunchenhancer: I judge the strength of the economy based on what type of candy people hand out on Halloween.
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@Rollinintheseat: [High school reunion] Person: "I don't remember you." Me: *starts crying* Person: "Now I remember you."
@garbagecoven: my eco-conscious gang and i do a drive-by shooting from our Smart Car. the recoil from a single shot flips our car, we are arrested easily.
@DillDoes: *throws king crab into tank of normal crabs* Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright
@Jesssicle: Bragging about how much you receive in alimony only demonstrates how much someone was willing to pay to get rid of you.