@crunchenhancer: I judge the strength of the economy based on what type of candy people hand out on Halloween.
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@djdarrellripley: Me: You're so selfish! Her: I'm selfless! I spent the last 4 weekends giving back to my community. Me: Oh Please, that was court-ordered..
@lordratsquirt: Recently I discovered when changing sex positions, it's better to make the Transformers sounds inside your head rather than vocalizing them.
@solomongeorgio: I was called a faggot by an angry homeless woman last night. I would've been offended but I was too busy living in a home.